The nightmare has returned. You know. The one where I fail the Bar. I had a series of those between the months of June and November. But now I know that I passed the Bar. So what’s the deal?? Why the nightmare? I can honestly say I have no idea.
The nightmare started out with me pretty much panicking about taking the test. Then a friend by the name of Scott Dickson, who neither went to law school or took the Bar, shows up to take the test with a box of pizza. I was in no mood for pizza. I sit down to fill in my scantron with my name and other necessary information, but end up smudging the pencil all over it. I begin to panic. I raise my hand to ask the test administrators what to do; they say it’s fine. I have my doubts.
After I fill in my scantron (just the name/info part, no answers) it’s time to begin the first day of testing. Which, to my surprise, is 12 essays (in real life, essays are on day 3). So I start to write my essays and get halfway through when I realize I’m having trouble concentrating because I forgot my earplugs. I ask a couple people if they have any extra, but no one does so I go to the bathroom and shove toilet paper in my ears. Problem solved. Kind of.
When I get back to my table I ask the girl next to me (who happens to be Krystal Dickson, also someone who isn’t in law school) how much time is left and she says time is up. I feel my dream-self start to die a slow death. Then she says she just kidding and that there’s actually 10 minutes left. My dream-self is no longer dying, but has decelerated into full-fledged panic mode because I still have at least three essays to write and only 10 minutes to do it in.
I am just about to check to see how many essays I have left to write when the test administrators ask us all to stand up to recite the pledge of allegiance. I stand up, put my hand over my heart, and beg it to stay in my chest. Then I try to remember what BarBri would advise me to do in the event that I have three essays left to write in 10 minutes. Do I use the time to write one good essay? Or three essays that are each approximately 4-5 lines? I remember thinking that having something semi-intelligent written for all the essays would be better than completing four of them and leaving the other two blank so I decide to do that… until I remember that there is absolutely no way I can read the facts for three different essays and write something for all of them in 10 minutes. I am officially freaking out.
Just as I sit back down, someone across the room says to the person in front of her, “If you’re going to wear scrubs, you’re gonna have to cover up.” What..? I don’t know. Apparently the person in front of her was wearing skanky scrubs. I didn’t even know that was a thing.
The next thing I do is chug the rest of my bottle of water. I’ve been rationing it the whole day because I didn’t want to have to get up to pee during the middle of my test. But now I’m dehydrated, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail the Bar anyways so whatever. Then I woke up because I have to go to the bathroom due to the bottle of water that dream-me drank.
Despite the grogginess that settles upon all who wake up in the middle of the night, I remember being quite shaken by this nightmare. I know I’ve already passed the Bar. There is nothing to fear. But failing the Bar is the monster hiding in the closet of my brain. Didn’t even know it was still lurking around. Definitely don’t know why. I do know, however, that I’m over it. Anyone know the most effective way to lock a monster in a closet?