As we continue to post things about our foster care journey, specifically posts and prayer requests related to L, I feel the need to clarify something. We foster kids to give them a safe place, a home, whether it be for a short time or forever. We believe in family reunification whenever possible, whenever a child has a safe, loving, caring home to go to. We desire kids to stay with us forever only if that is best for them. As we pray and beg the Lord to let us keep our girl, it is because we believe there is no better place for her than here.
Don’t get me wrong – even if she had good people who loved her to go home to, it would break our hearts for her to leave. But I wouldn’t have to worry about her. I would be heartbroken, but the knowledge that someone who loves her is taking care of her would help to bind up my broken heart.
Tonight my mind is swirling and my eyes are overflowing with tears – I am worried for my girl and overwhelmed by the Lord’s faithfulness to us through His people. The phone calls and texts and messages and facebook comments and countless prayers on our behalf – they have humbled me and undone me. His goodness and grace abound even in the midst of heartache. He is near to us. He whispers to my soul, “I created her. She is mine. I love her, even more than you do. I will take care of her. I will take care of you.”
We have asked the Lord to let us keep her, to answer our prayers with a yes. Others have begged Him on our behalf. I’m confident He has heard and understands that deep desire of our hearts. Tomorrow He will give us an answer. He will either tell us “no” or He will tell us “yes, for now.” (I say “for now” because even if we get past tomorrow there is still a long road ahead because #fostercare). God can do anything He wants to do. He can and will use the Judge and all other parties involved to accomplish whatever He has in store for her. We hope and pray that His plan includes us. Come what may, He is worthy of our trust.
We love her so much, and we desperately want for her to be ours, for us to be hers. But above all things, I want whatever God wants. Because this foster care thing we’re doing? This life we’re living? It’s all His. So I want whatever brings Him the most glory, whatever makes His name known, whatever draws hearts to Him. And I want to continue to want that even when my heart is broken.