It was Wednesday, August 10, 2016, at like 5:30 a.m. I had to get up super early that morning to get to Tarrant County to do an adoption. I was 6 days past the 5-day transfer so I got out a cheap internet pregnancy test. I sat there in the dark with my iPhone flashlight on staring at the little strip. The second line didn’t show up right away, but all of the sudden I noticed a shadow. Now let me tell you, I’ve seen A LOT a lot a lot of negative pregnancy tests. They’re completely white. Like totally, completely, utterly blank.
At first I figured my eyes were still sleepy or I was just having what we loving refer to as “line eyes.” I turned the bathroom lights on and lo and behold, the faintest shadow of a second line was there. I. panicked. Straight up started FREAKING OUT, y’all. My hands were shaking, and I could barely think straight, but I still wasn’t sure that what I was holding was a positive pregnancy test. I found a First Response test and used that, but the line was still a shadow, barelyyyy visible. I used another cheap strip test, same thing – a faint line. Then I remembered that awhile back I bought a box of digital tests! Boom. Pregnant. WHAT?! I HAD NEVER HELD A POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST IN MY HANDS IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
I was in such shock – I simultaneously felt like sobbing hysterically and laughing like a maniac. But I had to get ready for court OF ALL MORNINGS and after 20 minutes of pregnancy testing, I was running late. So I hurried myself out the door, resisting the urge to wake Gary up and tell him before I left. I got through 4 whole hours with my secret. Y’all, this is some sort of record for me or something. We all know I’m a chronic oversharer, and 4 hours of keeping this news to myself was just too much for me to handle. Let’s be real, Gary’s lucky he didn’t find out about his own wife being pregnant through a blog post or Instagram pic. Although I did think it was kind of cool that, for a little while, I was the only person in the whole world that knew this little babe existed. The novelty of that wore off fairly quickly, overpowered by my desire to TELL SOMEBODY, but still – cool for a little bit.
I got home and Gary almost rushed out the door to go to work before I whipped out the digital pregnancy test and squealed “LOOK!!!!” EEEEEEEK!!!! Hugs and smiles and kisses all around.
Ever since then I’ve been a POAS addict. My new favorite hobby? Watching the line get darker every day.
When you do IVF you confirm pregnancy by testing the HCG levels in your blood. Usually my doctor’s office tests on day 10, but for me day 10 fell on a Sunday, and I had to be in court on Monday morning, so they let me come in a couple days early on Friday morning (8 days past 5-day transfer) for my first beta, which came back at 75. YAY! They like to see the first beta between 50-100 so 75 was perfect. My second beta (to make sure HCG levels are rising) was Monday morning (11 days past 5-day transfer), and it came back at 219. They like to see the first beta at least double, so YAY!!!!!! Next step is a sonogram at 7.5 weeks (I’m about 4.5 weeks right now), and if that goes well Petri (baby’s nickname – get it? Like petri dish?) and I will graduate to the OB.
We are beyond thrilled. Just over the moon excited. This baby is the culmination of dozens of medical procedures, copious amounts of medication, hundreds of needles, countless negative pregnancy tests, 2 years of waiting, and ceaseless prayer – and it was all worth it. God has granted us the desire of our hearts in this little babe, and we could not be more grateful. We are well aware that many who walk the road of infertility never reach this place, never lay eyes on a positive pregnancy test, never hold a biological baby in their womb or in their arms. If that’s you, I’m praying for you – that the Lord would grant your deep desire for a child, and that His dream for your family, whatever that looks like, would be your dream too. We believe that, always and in everything, God is good, His plan is best, and His timing is perfect. Our prayer for ourselves, and for you as well, is that we would trust Him. Thank you for rejoicing for us and with us! Praise the Lord for this little life. We are so excited to know and love this baby!